Life is a blessing

What I take out of tonight is that it Feels darn good to give especially knowing someone was blessed without knowing it was you who blessed them. And that I don’t think I do it enough with all of the distractions of this world and getting caught up in things that aren’t important. I think part of it also is that Sometimes I am frustrated because I feel that people may think my intentions are in the wrong place but in some ways I think they don’t get me and how my intentions are right and pure. I know all of this is inconsequential but what I truly take and know is that I am blessed by God to even be able to experience life and I am commissioned by him to “love thy neighbor as thyself” so I feel in some ways that in any way I can, I want to bless others for I feel blessed. And I think God will do amazing things if I truly take this command to heart. At the least I want others around me to know what true love is even if I have a hard time showing it.

My new favorite song

I can’t get this song out of my head it is amazing!

Artist:
Robbie Seay Band
Album:
Give Yourself Away
Song:
Song Of Hope (Heaven Come Down)
All things bright and beautiful You are All things wise and wonderful You are In my darkest night, You brighten up the skies A song will rise I will sing a song of hope Sing along God of heaven come down Heaven come down Just to know that You are near is enough God of heaven come down, heaven come down All things new I can start again Creator, God Calling me Your friend Sing praise, my soul To the Maker of the skies A song will rise I will sing a song of hope Sing along God of heaven come down Heaven come down Just to know You and be loved is enough God of heaven come down, heaven come down Hallelujah, sing Hallelujah, sing Hallelujah, sing

Blessed Journey

Who says joy isn’t possible when going through tough things? From how much I hurt for those who were hurting earlier in the week, I am amazed (i shouldn’t be) of how God moves and works in our lives when we call upon his name. Today was the capper to a very emotional draining week. Albiet a happy one. What I took from today which I considered a blessed day (i suppose every day should be considered blessed) is that GOD will work in us and others if we Pray, do and love. How simple is that? Not so much for me and ill admit it. But oh boy the times that I have talk about eye opening. So I need to do it more, and praise God for what he has done and what he will do in mine and others lives. I am excited for the journey that I am on even knowing that it will be bumpy and I will falter. I just want to come to a place where I am not amazed anymore, that I just know and trust and have faith that God will provide. And that I can praise him even through the hard times.

Done with it

I forsake the enemy and how he is running rampant on all who I love. I guess I should have been prepared for this. I should have known that this is real and the feelings that are being felt and the dissosiation from the truth that is happening was going to happen. But I am human and I am flawed and make my self think that everything is roses which is foolish. It is apparent that the battle has started and I need to man up and put on the armor of rightousness and start using the sword of the spirit. So I pray that I am convicted to pray as much as possible for who I love. That I stop being passive. That I stop letting things go.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

Frustrated

Wondering, searching, hoping for something. don’t know exactly what but I want it to shake and move my life. I understand my situation, my life, my friends, my God but for some reason I am plagued with a feeling that there is something more. An inkling of what is to come. I am thankful. I am content. I guess I just don’t see the big picture. Only God knows his plan for my life. And I am not going to lie sometimes I am confused. I think it is a typical normal feeling. I want to help and do. And I know there is work to be done here. Just need to pray for an opportunity.

Letter to my future wife

Oh how I yearn to share with you all that God has done in my life. I can’t wait for the times when I can guide you with the wisdom of proverbs;To cherish you how I am cherished by my creater, like a rose among thorns; To hold you close, and pray with you and for you especially when we are apart; To protect you just as the holy spirit protects me. I long for the opportunity to wash your feet just as Jesus washed the disciples feet, and serve you communion just as Jesus broke bread for the last time. I can’t wait to spread with you joy when the world has got you down, peace when you feel there is no relief in sight, patience in times of stress, kindness when you are burdened by the unkind, faithfulness for you deserve this, forgiveness when you are wronged, trust when you need a shoulder to lean on, gentleness when healing the scarred areas of your heart, self control for when you lack it And most of all I can’t wait to love you how much my heavenly father loves me. Unconditionally. Without bounds or walls and never ceasing. The kind of love that you feel that produces a tingle in your entire body that just won’t go away. The real kind. The heavenly kind.

The joy of…..life

Wrapped up in my ginormous bed which I love, thoughts of calmness and a quiet sense of satisfaction have swept over me. My life has been a blur of happenings, events, changes, and I have come to the conclusion that all that withstanding, I am blessed. When I think about every breath and every moment good or bad, sad or happy I praise the name of my Abba father, my creater and my lord. I did something today I don’t normally do. When I am driving I usually am listening to sports radio or a mix of a few other music stations. Well today for the whole time while I was in my car I turned on the local worship/christian music station and belted out praise for my God. Words can not express the joy that I felt just for doing something as simple as turning some normal “me” time into “God” time by changing what I normally listen to, into something praiseworthy. We live in a slighted society. The devil tempts us by tricking us into having slight errors in judgment. We often see the big picture but in that proccess we lose sight of the small deficiencies that weigh us down and distract us from our purpose. Do I think it is wrong to listen to sports radio? No. But I do think there is something to ridding myself of some of the minor distractions in my life, to uncover the sheer joy of worship and intercession with God. This whole day was an abberation from a normal day for me. Joyous and melodious, it felt like a shakespeare play without the drama. It’s amazing what you can unearth when you change a few moments of your time into God’s time. Today for me it produced joy sweeter than honey. I pray that I crave this feeling more often because great change in my life is possible. And I can only receive that if I lift up the name above all names and have him work through me.

Purpose

What does it mean to have a true purpose? What makes me feel content in knowing that what I am doing is achieving that purpose? Questions I have that I can’t seem to fully answer at this moment. I feel like God is waiting for me to do something. Take action. Now I don’t know what action but I feel that what is going on in my life is going to eventually come to a point. Like possibly it is involving a big decision. Or a small change in character. Or he is very discretly telling me to wake up and smell the roses. Maybe he is telling me that I need to get rid of the layers of shame and guilt that I have built up for many years. Maybe unpack that filth that has been slowly but shurly creeping up on me like an itch I can’t scratch. Now I don’t take repentance lightly because I feel that it can’t be a quick one and done thing. I relate it kinda to getting the chicken pox (which I haven’t had by the way and pray that I don’t.) You get them once and you shouldn’t get them for the rest of your life. The same thing for me. For instance I do something that is irresponsible, I repent of it (like David in Psalms 51) and I should do a complete u turn, fully ridding myself of that past struggle. The problem is my human mind says that this undertaking is a lot of work and not something that is a urgent matter as much as it should be to address in my life. So this is something that I need to pray about. I pray that God and his commandments are convicting of myself and that if even a slight change is necessary I do it to work towards totally supplementing myself with Christ. Maybe then I won’t have the feeling that I am always looking for something new and refined. After all Jesus broke bread with the old, burdened and unclean and aren’t I supposed to mirroring him?

Discipline

What does it take to be disciplined? The answer should be easy shouldn’t it? You know get your lazy butt up do the crap you need to do! But for me it doesn’t work that way. I keep telling myself and others I want to do these things and then for some reason I don’t end up doing them. Its like my will is there but I can’t put it into action. This is something that I need to pray about. I have dealt with it all my life and I need to repent of it. I think it is directly connected to any time that I feel discouraged about anything. And I do see that in someways it is affecting my relationships. So it is definatly no good. I as a follower of Christ should not only be spreading the good word of his teaching, but showing it! “shine my light so they may know that I am God” Through prayer and reading the bible I plan to make my light brighter. So I pray, May God be glorified through my words AND my actions.

Change

I feel like I am continually being humbled and molded. I feel like God one by one is ripping the layers of crap off of me. I am starting to breath even though sometimes I am covering myself up again. sometimes I feel like what I say some times doesn’t make sense and I have been praying that God fills my speech with importance even if it doesn’t automatically flow. Underneath it all, repentance is staring me straight in the face. For I know of the things that I have done and said that are directly holding me back to grow and receive God’s holy spirit. Stubborness and excuses pave my way and I want rid of them. That is why I am going to start with tommorow morning and try to turn that into at least one thing that I do. For I know out of all things I need prayer and fellowship and accountability and consider these things the most important in my life and my continual walk.